"Whoever serves me must follow me; and where I am, my servant also will be. My Father will honor the one who serves me." - John 12:26 (NIV)
I've been feeling a bit "blah" about things lately and today seems to be extra "blah". I've released right at 40 pounds over the last 10 months but for the last 3 weeks or so, I've just been stuffing my face with doughnuts, candy, cake, fattening foods...whatever. Usually, clutter and a messy house drive me crazy (just ask Dennis!!) but, lately, I don't care if the dishes are piled in the sink, there's dog hair all over the place or there's an inch of dust on everything. For months, I've been excited and enthusiastic about getting up in the morning, having my prayer and Bible study time and then writing this blog. Maybe (or maybe not) you've noticed that I've been posting at odd times for the last couple of weeks. I've been finding "other" things to occupy my thoughts and time, instead.
I haven't quite been able to pinpoint what's going on with me. I'm not exactly sure where this lack of desire to eat properly, take care of myself and my home and spend time with God is coming from. But I know from whom it's coming. Satan, the devil, the enemy....whatever you want to call him...is doing his best to give me the "blahs". I also know who is working to help me to overcome these feelings. Jesus, the Christ, the Son of God...He's more than capable of overcoming Satan and the "blahs". So, the question for me is: who am I serving?
If actions speak louder than words, as my last blog stated, then the answer would have to be that I am serving Satan. As much as I don't like that answer, I have to admit that I sure don't feel that my current actions have been pleasing to Jesus. I still pray first thing in the morning but I feel lately like it's selfish prayer. It's seems to me that I pray for the same things every morning. God help ME be more like Jesus, keep ME from giving in to discouragement, let ME be a testimony.....with a little bit of praise, worship, help others and thank You for my blessings mixed in. Then all I want to do is "veg out" - check emails, play games on my phone, get on FB, watch TV...ignore my conscience that is telling me there's Bible study to do, a house to clean, dishes in the sink, laundry piling up, phone calls to return, work to be done. For example: Dennis & I belong to a game night group that meets at each others houses once a month....kind of like Bunco. This month it's our turn to host and it's in two days. So I'm house cleaning today, right?...No. I've figured out what game we're playing, right?...No. I've figured out and grocery shopped the food I'm serving, right?...No. I'll get it all done and figured out before 6:30 PM Wednesday, right?...Yes I will. I always do but not usually at the last minute.
I don't want to serve Satan. I don't want him getting any satisfaction from my actions. I want my actions to be pleasing to God. So, how do I get rid of these "blahs"? How do I get back the excitement and enthusiasm for this life I've been given? How do I get back on track with my food choices? How do I get back on track in taking care of the home God has blessed me with? The answer is in this verse: follow Jesus. Walk with Him. Talk with Him. His love has the power to change everything. He'll get rid of the "blahs" in my life. Then, when my actions speak, they will be saying: she serves Jesus!
"It's your heart that Jesus longs for: your will to be made His own with self on the cross forever, and Jesus alone on the throne." - Ruth Bell Graham
Dear Jesus, I don't want to continue to live with the "blahs" and serve the enemy. I want to be serving You with excitement and enthusiasm. I want a heart filled to the brim with love for You. I know You have the power to change my life: the way I feel, the way I think, the way I speak and the things I do. Please, dear Lord, have Your way with me. Make me a follower and a faithful servant to You. I ask in Your name, Amen.