The Bondage of Unforgiveness

"Anyone who claims to be in the light but hates his brother is still in the darkness." - 1 John 2:9 (NIV)

Hate - that's a strong word. It goes right along with anger and resentment. These three feelings can do more to stunt my spiritual growth than anything else. When my heart is filled with them, there's no room for love. There's also no room for light. When I'm angry or filled with resentment, it's not only my soul but my whole life that feels dark. The only way to get rid of the darkness is to forgive.

Forgiving someone when they hurt me or make me angry isn't an option. It's a requirement to become closer in my walk with Jesus. He was a sinless, perfect, innocent man who was beaten and hung on a cross...for MY sins. Yet He forgave me and continues to forgive me daily because I continue to sin daily. There is nothing anyone has ever done or can ever do to me that is worse than what I did to my Savior, yet he forgave me. I am required to do no less. 

Unforgiveness binds me to the person who I feel has wronged me. Thoughts of them and what I could do for revenge consume me. Wishes of harm to them fly through my mind throughout the day. My heart becomes hardened against them. I want to constantly talk about and revisit the harm they've done to me so that I can hold onto my anger. They are in control, not me. The bondage of unforgiveness keeps me imprisoned and in darkness. Jesus is the farthest thing from my thoughts.

Forgiveness frees me! When I forgive, Jesus brings light back into my world. I'm no longer held hostage by the feelings of anger, hurt, resentment or hatred. My heart is free to be filled with God's love and kindness. It allows me to grow in my spiritual walk instead of becoming stagnant. It allows Jesus' love to shine through me. I'm able to let the words and actions of others against me just roll off my back. What a wonderful way to live!!

How do I know when I've truly forgiven someone? I don't think about them in terms of what they've done to me anymore. I pray for them instead of getting angry about what they did or didn't do. They aren't constantly in my thoughts and my actions aren't defined by them. I don't talk and complain about them every chance I get. When I do think about them, I don't feel anger or hatred toward them. It's amazing what being free from the bondage of unforgiveness can be like.

If there's anyone you haven't forgiven....a parent, a child, a spouse, a sibling, the stranger who ran you off the road or stole your parking spot at the store....then I pray you learn to forgive. Colossians 3:13 (NIV) tells us this: "Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you." And, in Matthew 6:14-15 (NIV), Jesus tells us why we need to forgive: "For if you forgive men when they sin against you, your Heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive men their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins." Let's not be in bondage to unforgiveness but be free by forgiving as God forgives us.

"I can forgive, but I cannot forget, is only another way of saying, I will not forgive. Forgiveness ought to be like a cancelled note - torn in two, and burned up, so that it never can be shown against one." - Henry Ward Beecher

Heavenly Father, I don't want to be in bondage to unforgiveness. Teach me to forgive, just as You forgive me. Let me keep my heart free from anger, hatred and resentment by keeping it full of Jesus' love, mercy and grace. If there is someone I am holding resentment or anger towards, please make me aware of it and allow me to forgive them. I ask this in Jesus' name, Amen.